motherhood

Being There: The Power of Presence in Suffering

Being There: The Power of Presence in Suffering

It’s quiet in the dark, except for the screaming. I hold my one-year-old, skin hot from fever, as he writhes against me. “No, no” he cries, little hands trying to force me away. He wants neither down nor up. I’m used to being the touch that soothes - a useless gift when everything hurts.

A Perfect Disaster: Finding Joy in the Messiness of Christmas

A Perfect Disaster: Finding Joy in the Messiness of Christmas

It’s December 27th and the house is as quiet as the snow that silently blankets everything outside of our windows in the predawn blackness. The only light in the room glows from our Christmas village where it sits merrily on the mantle, high above greedy fingers whose enthusiasm threatens to crack its delightfully delicate rendition of an idyllic Christmas. The sight the villagers look down upon, however, is another story.

Wailing for Waffles

Wailing for Waffles

My one-year-old eats a waffle for breakfast every morning. Despite that I have never failed to feed him, he inevitably wails for the entire two minutes it takes to pop up from the toaster. I sing and dance, trying to distract him. I explain that the waffle needs to cook. Nothing helps; the waiting is too painful.

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Dear Mama in Quarantine

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Dear Mama in Quarantine

Dear Mama,

I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice: you are tired. Not just the daily grind of motherhood tired. Not even the loopy, delirious kind of tired that comes with having a newborn. You are exhausted. You are running on a treadmill that is set one speed too fast and you don’t know when the workout will end.

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Devotion in a Time of Pandemic

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Devotion in a Time of Pandemic

When I first stumbled across this quote several years ago, just a few months into my marriage, I found it comforting, inspiring, and even a little sentimental. “Is that all?” I remember thinking. “I feel like attaining world peace is much more complicated and difficult than that.”